Those of you who have been in relationships will know exactly where this post is going. But I’ll say now, this post hasn’t been planned. I’m writing with just my current thoughts on where I’m at right now.
Moving on is the hardest thing I ever thought I’d have to do. It’s been two months since the end of my relationship and seeing my ex move on so quickly has honestly broken my heart. I was the one to end things but it’s all been so sudden and a bit of a shock to the system.
We dated for two years and that’s not something I’m going to forget or move on from in a heartbeat. Though we still get along as friends, and I still care about him so much, I don’t feel any romantic feelings towards him. But seeing him moving on now hurts like a bitch.
I remember people always talking about heartache and the cliche of crying all night and eating your weight in chocolate because break ups suck. I never really got it until now. The past two months have been relatively okay and now everything is hitting me at once. I know for a fact I’m not ready to move on and meet someone else, but God I miss being happy in a relationship.
It wasn’t a bad relationship but when I think about it, we did argue a lot. We probably weren’t compatible. He completely betrayed my trust more than once, and though I tried desperately hard to keep on forgiving him, it got to a point where I couldn’t keep lying to myself anymore. And I hated the amount of times he lied to my face.
It’s times like these, where I remember how awful he made me feel, where I think I’m going to be okay and I’ll be able to move on. I think of all the times he treated me in a way that a girlfriend should not be treated. All the times he casually flirted with other girls and said it was nothing.
But it’s not that easy.
As I said we still get along and I feel like I can tell him anything and everything… but maybe that’s part of the problem. I still see him as the person I go to with all my problems and maybe now is the time to just keep it to my best friends rather than my ex.
I know this is a bit TMI, and I rarely write about my relationships online because I like having an element of privacy. But I hope this post might be able to help others who are going through the same thing and are experiencing the same feelings.
Emotions suck. Moving on is bloody difficult. And I know for a fact that I’m going to be on a bit of an emotional roller coaster ride from here.
I am okay, and I will be okay. Apparently time heals, so I’m waiting for it to do it’s thing.
– The Storyteller