I feel like this post will be very similar to the one I wrote yesterday, but I can’t stop thinking about how far I’ve come not only over the last three months, but over the last year and a half.
I noticed a long time ago that I have become more confident since being at university, but it’s only taken me until recently to realize that I’m not only confident in myself and in my personal life, but I’m also more confident academically. I think that’s so important, because it certainly comes across in my writing too. Part of me is still expecting my next grade to drop in comparison to the good grades I’ve been getting so far, and I don’t want these three 2:1’s to raise my spirits too much, only to find that I haven’t done so well on the next one. I know that will definitely take a hit at my confidence levels when it comes to essay writing.
I have always had people- friends, parents and teachers- telling me to be more confident in my work, because I’m good at it, I’m smart, etc. etc., but it’s a lot harder than just taking it from someone. It’s taken me a long time to actually think I’m good at the degree I’m doing, and I’m even considering doing a masters course. Luckily they’re starting an English Literature masters at my university next year, so I’ll be able to talk to people who are going through it before I actually go through it myself.
I never really thought about doing a masters; it was always something my mum wanted me to do as it would “look good on your CV”, and “you’ll get better jobs” and “employers will be more likely to choose you over someone without a Masters”… but my excuse was that I didn’t want to stay in education forever. But now I have a year and a half left of my degree, I don’t think I’m quite ready to leave yet, and enter the adult world. A lot of people say that when you turn 18, you have entered the world of adulting, but I disagree. It all comes in steps. Leaving school is the first step. Learning to drive is another. Getting to university or having an apprenticeship is the next. Graduating, doing a masters, graduating again and getting your first jobs… these are all little steps to ease you into your twenties, and therefore into your adult life.
I’m going to be twenty in January, but I like to consider myself to be twenteen. I don’t feel ready to have responsibilities yet, and this is what a lot of my friends have said. But think about it- you’ve already had so many responsibilities so far, why does another year make any difference to that? Yes, paying bills, having a 9-5 job, cooking for yourself are all very new things to so many people, but think about all the people who have been through the same thing as you. And think of all the people who are going to go through the same thing in a few years time…
When I started this post, I thought I was going to talk about what I’ve learnt from this semester, but it feels more like a life lesson… #lifelessonswithjanet
I don’t know what the point of this post really is. I just felt I had to write about everything I’ve been thinking about recently, so don’t be surprised if there are more posts like this one in the next few months!
Anyway, I should probably think about getting dressed because it’s 2pm and I’m still in my pyjamas and I think someone is coming over to fix the fence at some point…