This last week has probably been the most stressful in my life so far.
First of all, I’ve had to organize loads of people and places and times to film for my A2 Media project, in which we have to film a music video. I thought that this year was going to be easy, but Jesus I was far from right. We’ve managed to get an awful lot done, and I’m proud of our efforts so far, but it’s just the fact that our deadline for creating a 2 minute rough copy is in about 3 weeks that I’m now really feeling the pressure. And it’s even more stressful when you need at least 15 extras who aren’t really helping out at the moment…
The main cause of stress this weekend though, has been UCAS, and writing the dreaded personal statement. I was organized and started writing mine back at the end of summer, but I had problems communicating with one of my teachers. She said that her email wasn’t working or something, but looking back on it now, I’m starting to doubt it. She emailed me back with an edited version of my personal statement the night before the deadline, after I’d emailed her suggesting to email my other account, as I hadn’t heard anything for two days. But that’s not really the point, I mean I got it all done, so hopefully, I’m going to start getting offers in the next few weeks.
And now we actually get onto the point of this post.
Moving on. I can’t wait to go to University, and I was talking to my friend earlier about the whole thing. One of my friends is re-taking year 12, two are going on a gap year, and three of us are going to various cities in the UK to go onto the next chapter of our lives. The only thing I’m nervous about right now is the worry about not getting any offers. I’d love to go to Birmingham, but I have a little bit of doubt that I’d get accepted, as I’m worried I won’t get an A in English, which is a requirement for them. However, there are other Universities like Kent, Reading, and Belfast which only need a B in English. So it’s not like the end of the world if I don’t go to Birmingham.
Right now, I’m not afraid of leaving home properly for the first time, because I know that it’s always going to be here, and I can always contact all the people I want to contact on Facebook. But it’s like with swimming; I’m only nervous when I get to the starting block. I can be waiting in the line, perfectly fine, and when they call up my heat once the previous one has started, then I get butterflies. I think University will be a similar thing. I don’t want to sound over-confident in myself, but I’m not too worried about getting no offers, because that rarely happens. I know that on results day, it can go two ways, and if it goes the way I hope it does, then I think that will be the moment that it actually hits me that this is really happening.
Like with my music video, there is so much planning involved in the whole thing, so once you actually get started it feels weird to have accomplished the first step.
Moving on is a big thing for everyone. I’m not worried about leaving my friends behind who are going on gap years to get a bit of experience, or who are finishing school. I’m not worried, because I don’t want to feel like I should be worried. This is something I’ve actually been looking forward to for the last three years. But I understand why some people don’t feel like they’re ready. Having friends in the year below (or even the year above) can be hard because you may feel like you’ll never see them ever again, but if you love them, and they love you, then you will learn how to cope with the situation you’ve been faced with. You will make arrangements and you will meet up and have a good old gossip, and it will feel like nothing’s ever changed.
That’s the sort of thing I’m looking forward to.