Winning vs. Winning

Hey guys,

As you know, (probably) I swim for a club and every year we have our Club Championships and every year we have the prize giving night- what we call Presentation Evening. Over the years, my age group has always been really strong and even getting two medals was hard to come by. However, in the last year or so, some people who would be in my age group this year have left for their own reasons, leaving me as the only seventeen year old in my category. I’m not quite sure how it’ll work, but I think I might have one other person in my category. Either way, it just means that I am going to win loads of medals and trophies.

Which is a good thing… right?

Well, yes and no. I love the fact that my achievements have been recognized, but then I don’t feel like I deserve it. I feel bad for constantly going up to get gold, only because there aren’t enough people in my age group and that’s not really my fault. I should be happy, but I’m not that happy. There isn’t any competition for me, and I have to wait until next year when there will be at least two other people who I can really compete against.

There are some people in my club who have to go through this every single year because there simply aren’t enough people in each age group, and some of the younger swimmers are increasingly getting better and better up until the point where they’re too good for their age group, and unless they miss a race, they are guaranteed to get a gold medal and a trophy. Which is a similar position to the one I’m in, except I’m not going to boast and say that I’m amazing. Because I’m not.

It’s probably because I’ve never been in this position, so a part of me is looking forward to it, but at the same time, I don’t want to have to face all the people who haven’t even won a single medal. This is particularly for the younger swimmers, and I can say that because I’m the oldest girl in my club… I remember in my first presentation evening, I won three bronze medals, and it was so unexpected because I didn’t even know what I was supposed to be doing! I love that feeling because you feel like you deserve the medals rather than literally having them given to you.

-The Storyteller


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