I don’t really know how to start… So how about at the most sensible place, at the beginning.
It saddens me how you don’t remember how we met. But then I sound like a hypocrite because I have many friends and I don’t remember how I met them, so is this really any difference? It may be for some. I don’t know.
We were only kids… can’t have been more than 10 years old. And, the moment I saw you, I felt this connection. I was the new kid, and you let me in from the cold, scary world of being alone.
We spent so much time together, and I live with all the memories, but I just wonder… do you? Do you remember all the small details, all the stupid, crazy things we did together? You taught me to overcome irrational fears because you told me that, deep down, it’s something that isn’t painful. But tell me this. How do I overcome the fear of losing you without feeling any pain at all?
I know that things change. Times change, and dear God I wish they hadn’t changed so quickly, if at all. You just started drifting without even a “goodbye”. What happened to us? It’s funny, there’s a song with lyrics that go “Was it something that I did, was it somebody else?” and I feel it fits perfectly well with our situation. If you know me as well as you did, you’d know the band. You’d know the song. Wasn’t I the one who told you that music is one of the best ways to express yourself, but since I can’t get my voice across to you anymore… I have no other option than writing this letter. You won’t listen to me when I try and talk to you- you don’t understand. You just make me feel like what I’m saying is stupid, worthless- as if you want to get away from me. And that leaves me with the question- was I even your friend in the first place? Or were you just mine.
I don’t know if I can bring myself to send this letter. I hope I do and I honestly hope you read it and give me a reply because I don’t know what to do. I can’t always be the one people rely on to fix things and as much as I would love to fix us, I don’t want to be responsible for making things worse.
All the best,